The Perfect Girl
by Golem XIV
Summary: One-shot. Beast Boy tells Raven about his ideal, "perfect" girl. It takes Raven quite a while to understand that the girl he's talking about is not imaginary.


**Disclaimer:** The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and that I don't own the Teen Titans.

-=oOo=-

 **The Perfect Girl**

Beast Boy dipped a wing lower and began the lazy downwards spiral that would bring him to a landing on the roof of the Tower. The moon was barely a crescent, but his keen owl eyes sliced effortlessly through the darkness, noticing immediately Raven's figure floating above the ledge in her signature lotus position.

Gone were the cloak and the leotard. She was wearing a short, strapless indigo-blue light summer dress that allowed the ivory paleness of her shoulders, arms and legs to glow in the darkness.

He figured she was probably already aware of him, even if she couldn't see him. He flared his wings to kill the momentum and landed softly behind her, transforming into himself and walking over on soundless feet. He plopped down beside her, sitting on the ledge, his legs dangling over the void. He looked at her with keen interest in his eyes.

"Hey, Rae! I didn't expect you'd be back so early. How was your date?"

"It was a disaster," she replied dryly. Beast Boy winced at the bitterness in the otherwise flat tone.

"Why?" he asked with an obvious note of concern in his voice. "What went wrong?"

She hesitated for a moment, not really willing to answer. Five years ago, when they all first met, Raven would simply ignore his question or maybe glare at him dangerously for attempting to intrude upon her privacy. But the bonds they built over that time had lowered her defenses a little and made it a bit less uncomfortable for her to talk about her feelings.

It was especially true for him, as irritating and insufferable as he could get sometimes. He was, after all, the one that was always hounding her and prodding her and pushing her to open up and share and allow the others into her life. He was sweet and caring, and he deserved more than just a cold shoulder. So she smothered her reluctance, relaxed and allowed herself to speak about it.

"I don't know, Gar. I don't understand how I made such a mistake. Yes, he's handsome, and smart, and charming, but…" a shadow of a frown passed over her face. "He also turned out to be an arrogant, self-centered, insensitive asshole."

Garfield almost cringed at the word. Raven was all about self-control; she kept her emotions, her reactions, her power locked tight and chained securely. And that included her speech. Hearing her use that word told him more than seeing her in her Raging state.

"It shouldn't have happened to me," she mused, the tone of her voice still calm and unemotional. "I should have sensed it. I probably did, but I discarded it subconsciously, I suppose. I was overwhelmed by him asking me out on a date. I'm just… I don't have much experience in that particular area."

She shook herself off and turned her head to look at him. "I see you're back early, too. How did your date go?"

"Oh, it went great!" he beamed. "She's really cute, you know, and she wanted to know everything about me, and the team, and about how we put our lives at risk every day to –"

"Garfield."

It was spoken softly, but it cut off his exposition instantly, leaving him with his mouth still open.

"You forget that you can't lie to me, Gar. What happened?"

He closed his mouth and looked down at the rocky shore below the Tower, silent. There was a sudden burst of anger mixed with sorrow and sadness coming from his soul, before he quickly buried it deep inside himself, to the place where she knew he kept all the other emotional scars he carried. Her chest burned and her throat tightened; she hated seeing him like this.

She waited a few seconds, but he remained uncharacteristically silent. On an impulse, her hand moved and touched his own.

"Gar?"

His jaw clenched, the words extruding themselves slowly and painfully out. "She was actually crushing on Robin. The only reason she… went out with me was to ask me to set her up with him. She… said that it was… a _shame_ … that Robin, such a _nice, normal guy_ , was with that _alien freak_. She said it was me that should be with Starfire, because I'm obviously an alien, too. I'm _green_ , after all. She didn't come out and say that the freaks should stay together and not mix with good, clean, _normal_ folk, but it was quite obvious that she thought it."

Raven closed her eyes for an instant, bunching her fists and whispering her mantra, pushing down the sudden rush of blinding rage that swelled inside her. It made her lose track of Garfield's own state for a few seconds, and that was good. It gave him time to recover, because there was more to it, and it was even worse. Not that Gar would confess to it, not in a million years, not under all the tortures of Hell.

Because when his date called Raven 'that black witch' she never realized just how close she came to having her tongue torn out. Gar sighed deeply, calming down, then chuckled.

"I gave her the Tower's desk number, the one that's listed just about everywhere, and told her she could contact Robin that way." He grinned and looked at Raven. "I figured Dick's already used to dealing with her kind. She was so happy she squealed and in two minutes she was gone. She even had the sweet manners to leave me with the bill. Good riddance."

"Gar, I'm sorry…" Raven whispered. Her eyes were still closed, she was still attempting to control herself.

His grin widened. "Don't be. I'm… kinda used to it. I've been hearing it for years. It doesn't bother me any more," he lied.

Raven's hand touched his again. "I wish that could be true."

He waved away her concern. "Nah. Don't worry about it. Besides, I've got a way to handle it. It works every time."

She had to smile as she sensed his optimism return. "You do? What is it?"

He looked at her, his eyes shining. "When I'm down, when I feel the world's crushing me, I just think of her, and everything's fine again."

She felt unease creep into her in an icy trickle, not really understanding why. "Her?"

"The perfect girl!" he replied with a wide grin. "The one that loves me, the one that I know is waiting for me. Waiting for me to tell her how much I love her, and to kiss her, and to stay with her for the rest of my life!"

"The perfect girl?" Raven chuckled, surprising herself again for feeling relieved. "That sounds like an imaginary friend, Gar. Aren't you a bit too old –"

His face became serious. "Oh, she's not imaginary, Rae. I know she's out there, waiting for me. As real as any other girl."

She shook her head and smiled. That was so typically Garfield, to have an imaginary girlfriend. She almost scolded him for being childish, but then she suddenly realized she shouldn't be making fun of him; it was his way of dealing with the emotional stresses they all had to go through almost daily, just like her own meditation or Starfire's enthusiasm.

"So, care to tell me about her?" she asked, her smile becoming warmer and wider.

He blushed a little, then nodded. "She's beautiful," he spoke wistfully. "Not stunningly beautiful, like Star, but in a more subdued sense. _Hauntingly_ would be a good description."

Raven chuckled again. "Don't tell me she's blonde and has big blue eyes."

Gar laughed. "Not at all! Yes, I'm partial to skinny blondes, but my perfect girl… her hair is darker, and her eyes… Oh, you've never seen eyes so clear, and so deep. You simply can't avoid drowning in that bottomless gaze, diving into those stormy pools."

"You're becoming quite poetic, Gar!" Raven lifted an eyebrow at him. "I never expected that from you!"

He rubbed the back of his head, blushing slightly again. "I know. I always am, when I think of her."

"Tell me more," Raven demanded, her interest fully roused. She'd never seen Garfield in such a state or heard him speaking of such things. This was a precious moment.

Again he looked over the ocean. "She's got a killer body, you know. Taut and smooth, made to be loved. Full, sensual lips; a long, graceful neck; rounded shoulders that just beg to be kissed and nipped. Nice breasts, just the right size. A wasp's waist that flares out into slim hips, tapering into those endless, shapely legs…" He pulled himself out of his fascination, his blush deepening as he grinned sheepishly at her. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't avoid smiling. "Do you men ever think of anything else?" she jabbed him.

"Sometimes!" his grin widened, his fang gleaming in the soft moonlight. "Just so you know, I find her personality even more appealing than her looks, if that's possible!"

"Is that so?" she shot back with a heavy dose of skepticism. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well, for starters, she's got a sense of humor," he began, his eyes again losing focus as he thought about it. "She's usually serious, but she's really quite smart and witty; and she's also affectionate and caring, and full of love. She's the most generous person I've ever known, selfless and sacrificing. It's very refreshing in this world where everyone looks after themselves first and seldom bothers to help others."

There was just a hint of bulging muscles on Raven's jaw before she brought herself under control again. It was no wonder that Gar would create his imaginary, 'perfect' girlfriend so similar to himself, for it was he that was the caring one, he the one that was full of love, he the selfless one. And he even had a sense of humor, as dumb as his jokes usually were.

She had to close her eyes to fight the constriction in her chest and throat. For some reason it hurt deeply to know that she was so different than this ideal girl of his. She could only wish she could be 'smart and witty' when 'biting and sarcastic' was more her way, and that was true also of her sense of humor. She'd love to be generous and sacrificing, not to mention affectionate and caring and full of love. But she was just the opposite; a dark, dour, intimidatingly cold ice queen that could not afford to love or care for anyone, that should have – _would have_ destroyed the whole world if it wasn't for her friends that helped her find hope again.

Years of practice helped her push it all down and throw a heavy lid over it. She allowed herself to give him another small smile.

"She really sounds perfect," she told him in a slightly hoarse voice. "Just like an imaginary girl –"

She felt his hand grip hers and heard his voice interrupting her.

"She's not imaginary, Rae."

She turned to look at him. A shiver went through her, a small glimmer of understanding appearing in the back of her mind.

"I told you, she's real," he continued, his grip on her hand becoming stronger, his eyes glowing. "She's real, and I know her. It's just that I was an idiot for not telling her before. For not letting her know… how much she means to me."

Dazed, numbed, lost, the only thing she could manage was a choked gasp.

"Gar…"

"Do you understand, Rae?" he pressed her earnestly as she began trembling. "Do you know who she is?"

She tried to ignore it, she wished to deny it, she wanted to dismiss it, but it was impossible; it was shining in his clear, green eyes, it was bursting blindingly from his soul, it was assaulting her from all sides, not allowing her to take a breath and calm down and think it over rationally and coldly and find his mistake, show him his error, make him understand his confusion, because she wasn't, couldn't, _shouldn't_ be –

His arms went around her and his face came nearer and she felt his lips on hers, scorching sweet, painfully soft, caressingly agonizing. There was no resisting it; her eyes rolled up and closed, her toes curled, her hands grasped him desperately and pulled him closer as she finally let herself go.

It lasted a moment, a year, an eternity. They could not know; time had lost any meaning for them. But they parted finally, breathing heavily, looking into each other's eyes.

Raven's gaze dropped first.

"I'm sorry, Gar…"

"What for?"

"I was an idiot. I should've figured it out sooner…"

He kissed her lightly. "Oh, no, you won't. There's space only for one idiot in this Tower, and that's me."

Her eyes burned. She hid her face in his shoulder, took a deep, shuddering breath and hugged him harder. She may not be the ideal girl, but to him she was, and that's all that mattered.


End file.
